University Interviews Rasa

Recently, the legendary Guru Rasa Von Werder was interviewed by Binghamton University's newspaper, Pipe Dream.  Below are the questions and answers, exactly as written on Rasa's blog.  Comments by William Bond and myself are added after that at the bottom:

Binghamton University asks me some questions

On Tuesday, February 4, 2025 at 08:01:01 AM EST, Pipe Dream News <news@bupipedream.com> wrote:

 Hi Rasa, 

I understand that you're busy and I appreciate your making time to accommodate us. Here are a few questions regarding your experiences and female sexuality that I would appreciate your insight on: 

1) As someone with a diverse range of experiences regarding sexuality, from sex work to taking a vow of celibacy, how do you feel your perception of sexuality has changed?

 2) What advice do you have for women dealing with shame or stigma surrounding their sexuality, particularly as they get older?

 3) In your book, you discuss relationships you have had with younger men. How do you feel about age-gap relationships and their effects on both parties? 

4) What message regarding female sexuality do you hope young people take away from hearing about your experiences?

 5) Any other comments or concerns?

 Any and all responses would be appreciated by 5pm on Wednesday 2/5. If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to reach out. Thank you and have a great day!

 Rasa’s answers:

1) As someone with a diverse range of experiences regarding sexuality, from sex work to taking a vow of celibacy, how do you feel your perception of sexuality has changed?

 

          Rasa:  Long ago the Patriarchs had me filled with fear that sex outside of marriage was a sin: brainwashing. The ‘moral’ laws re sex are set by the men who want to control women; thereby double standard. They are free, we’re not. The Patriarchs control religion as well as regular culture – Every major religion including the Hindus, who worship Goddesses, discriminate to one degree or another, against women. Women are in danger of having their lives DESTROYED if they break the taboos – when they do they are at the very least, ostracized. 

{As a single woman who was in the adult trade I might add, I am somewhat shunned by my neighbors where I live. They spread all kinds of insane rumors against me so vile I can’t even repeat, & people who hear them don’t know what to believe. Furthermore, no single woman is welcomed at the table of a culture where the women are all married – their sisterhood is over after college; when permanent relationships with men begin – sisterhood ends. Married women are not allowed to have single women friends because to have them lends Female Support / Empowerment.}

 In the old days, & even today in Theocratic Muslim countries, women were / are KILLED for breaking men’s laws {taboos.} 

Being in the adult trade is a two edged sword. On the one hand, you make a living, sometimes more easily than other non-professional jobs. But in this world where sex for women & nudity are seen in a dim light, your reputation is DARKENED. You become suspect of having ‘loose morals’ or none at all – these moral codes being invented BY MEN to control women.           Other sins are even imputed to the female, such as being a liar, thief, shady dealer, or druggie. These women are also seen as uncultured, unlettered & not so bright. Although there is some of that in the trade, it’s a stereotype & many don’t fall into these categories. But the STIGMA is there – the SUSPICION. Married couples do NOT invite you to their house for supper! Those in academia & the professional class look upon you as a lower rung. They are the Brahmins with their heads in the clouds, full of privilege. You are the Sudra or untouchable & your position does not open doors.

There is also the advantage of being adored or panted after by many men {if you have what it takes} although you suffer the jealousy of women. It does give one a feeling of value on a certain level: “I am desired, I get PAID for being desirable”- sometimes you get paid A LOT & men give you HUGE TIPS & all sorts of favors. But of course, there’s a downside to that also – women get attacked, raped & even killed in the adult trade, especially those who work the streets: they get raped average one a week.  Killers find it easy to pick up a woman off the street who’s willing to get into the car - other crimes are committed against them. I have a chapter on this in a long-ago book called ‘Sex Work.’

 

Celibacy is applauded & looked up to by many Patriarchal religions. Most of the Saints we hear about were celibate, most were vowed to the religious life. This is what I saw & I wanted to be like them because they had attained a higher relationship with God. I wasn’t sure if fornication was a sin or not – I wasn’t wise in that way yet. But I knew there was some spiritual advantage to celibacy, so I strove for it for several years. It was a hard decision. But it became real when the Holy Virgin appeared to me & asked me to take the vow {no doubt because I strove for it & She saw I was serious, & it was time.} I took the vow – which I felt would be forever – on May 27, 1978. I promised Mary this vow on my knees in front of Her altar.

The first two years were the hardest – I wanted to be released from the vow but could not. Then the desire for sex diminished. After ten years God appeared to me in a Spiritual Presence & asked if I wanted to quit the vow – “it has done its work.” But I was happy with abstinence & said no.

Ten years later God again appeared to me & asked if I wanted to be released. I thought abut it a couple weeks & said no. As soon as my horndog male friends heard I might quit the vow they got friendly again, too friendly. I rejected them.

Another ten years went by. God appears again – I say no. But this time, God insists,

“I want you to stop suffering, have fun, quit the vow.”

I said I didn’t want to. Then She said,

“If you don’t do this, you will be outside the Will of God.”

This shocked & confused me but of course I had to say yes, I will quit the vow, go out & have fun.

What I would do, how I would do it, was up to me. God never gave me any further instructions This is how at age 63 the Cougar episode began.

I entered the world of dating & sex with great trepidation. What I did & how I did it is in my book – this one & those before it.

 

2) What advice do you have for women dealing with shame or stigma surrounding their sexuality, particularly as they get older? 

          Rasa says: Understand who told you to be ashamed, who put a stigma on this behavior for women? It was the MEN. Our culture right now is controlled by men – Patriarchy. It was once, remember, Matriarchal. Thousands of years ago women ruled the family, the village & religion. The culture was not a rat race, there was peace, harmony & the Leader or Queen lived not much higher that her poorest subject. Women were looked up to, they had status & privilege, they ran the religion – Priestesses, Shamans, therapists, psychologists, healers, counselors. Men did not run the family or the Village. Women lived in extended Matriarchal families, similar to the Mosuos of China, all over the word. Wisdom, knowledge was handed down through the generations concerning child care, birthing, & all aspects of survival & righteous living. Women supported women, they did not compete or turn against one another to gain favor with men – men did not have power & even the paternity of the children was not important, as it was the women who owned all the resources & controlled them.

          It was the position of men to work under the authority of women & to do what pleased the women, the women did not bow to men & look at them as authority or leadership in any way – not in the family or the Village. Women held all the seats of power & their sisters supported them - Similar to the Bonobos.

          As long as women were in power – we worshipped a Mother God – there was PEACE.

          It was only when hordes / gangs of men descended upon the villages {from the Steppes of Asia six - seven thousand years ago} with weapons, swords & other arms, that the ideal lives of Matriarchal Villages were disrupted & eventually women & their power were defeated – We became prisoners of war - not through ideas or concepts but force, - Matriarchy ended & the world of terror that we know today was instituted.

          As far as discrimination toward old women & intimidating them re their sex lives – this is done on purpose, as I explained in my books, “Old Woman – Young Man – Why They Belong Together.” Parts I & II.

          Men {Patriarchs} are scared to death of Old Women.

          It is the old, the ‘elders’ that are the leaders. It’s been that way in many cultures, including the primarily Matriarchal American Indians. {It was mostly women who made decisions in the Indian cultures. When the U.S. govt. put them in reservations, they overlooked this fact & gave resources to men – ‘Chiefs’ instead of female leaders – thereby turning these cultures into Patriarchal as we are. As usual, some of this money was misused, where it was not spread out fairly but remained in the hands of the family & friends of the Indian ‘Chief’- Typical male selfishness & misappropriation, which has been observed wherever money is awarded. The ‘small loan’ banking system – like 20 bucks, believe it or not, instituted to help the poorest of the poor failed when it was given to men. They used it for alcohol, gambling & whoring. They then gave the bread to women, with success. The women started tiny businesses & paid the loans back!}

          They are afraid of the influence elders have over the youth. Old women will not encourage boys to go to war – they coined the term ‘cannon fodder’ – they’re sending our boys to war to become cannon fodder.

          The Patriarchs have systematically downgraded old women, hurt their reputations on many levels, to disempower them, to hurt their ability to lead the young. They want to put them out to pasture, retire them. They claim old women are unattractive {not true, young men are attracted to older women as their first love. Yes, they need a Mother & her looks are not that important because they seek unconditional love, & this is more valuable than having a beauty for a few moments of lust. An older woman, who represents Maternal Love, gives experience, support, counsel, knowledge, understanding & spirituality. A young male CRAVES this sort of love.}

          They discourage the young males from seeking old women through taboos, humiliation & ridicule. Young males FEAR seeking out & dating older women if it’s made public. They may not be as afraid in private, as long as they are not subject to approbation. And a lot of this goes on in cultures like India, young males, old women, but in secret.

          Do old women like younger males? Studies say everyone likes the younger persons. Of course, but they are discouraged by the same taboos - criticism & laughter.

          I became subject to a lot of scorn & confusion when I went downtown & was hob knobbing with the youth - A lot of dumb questions. They could not understand why I was there. An old woman is not supposed to have fun, enjoy life like younger people. She’s supposed to be shut up somewhere, far from everyone, doing traditional boring things, hiding out from any excitement.

          The destruction of older women was one of the main functions of the Inquisition, the women’s holocaust. These were the influencers, the most powerful women in the community, & they were picked up & tortured to death for 500 years – millions of them. Men sought to break the power of Matriarchs, wherever their strength became evident. 

3) In your book, you discuss relationships you have had with younger men. How do you feel about age-gap relationships and their effects on both parties? 

          Rasa says: Old women, young men, is a positive thing & therefore both sides benefit.

         For the young man, he gains a mentor, sometimes a spiritual Lighthouse, comfort knowing he’s cared about, the knowledge she has with experience. She teaches him right from wrong – responsibility – just like a Mother. This doesn’t usually happen with a female his own age, - she may be cute, have perfect skin, good body, but all the qualities of ‘growing up’ aren’t there. They could be ‘the blind leading the blind’, falling over a cliff.

          All the virtues an older person should have – if they are there – the woman will encourage the male to pursue what is right for him & desist from the wrong. Follow your dream, your talent & positive goals, with persistence, be faithful to it, don’t get on drugs, don’t hang around with negative people as they will pull you down. She has to have some authority to get him to obey, or he might rebel & meet his own doom. This actually happened the following way.

          I met a male I fell in love with - & he with me – he was 19, me 66. He was a local - not a good boyfriend as every night I was downtown, most of the time he wanted to ‘party.’ ‘Party’ is not just alcohol, its drugs & at the very least marijuana, whatever he can obtain, whatever they can afford or get their hands on. So many times I longed for his company but he was on his way to ‘party.’

          Our relationship dragged on for years – me pleading with him to stop the drugs but he insisted he wasn’t hooked. Of course he was, & it got worse

He met a girl a couple years younger & she was hooked on cocaine, & willing to provide it to him daily. He got even more hooked & moved in with her – they became a couple, but he never stopped seeing me but in secret – a secret his friends knew about, but on Face book, it was just her. I went through some of the worst pains of my life with him but I never stopped loving him or pleading with him to get off the drugs.

Why did he not? Drugs were medication against the abuse a man put on him in childhood – sexual abuse. He needed rehab or at the very least, to be with me full time where I could provide a lifestyle with spirituality as the key. But his entire world was against me, the druggie friend surrounded him like wolves to keep us apart. With the druggie girl & all the friends, it was a force of evil against one woman trying to help him.

But my efforts failed. I had ignored him for a while – stopped going downtown & he suddenly called. - “I want to see you”. I told him our dates were finished unless he quit his girl friend & went into rehab. And hurry up about it, as these drugs will kill you as I’ve warned you before.

And two months later, August, 2022, he died of an overdose, age 29.

In an ideal situation, had he listened to me he would have lived, but he didn’t & his young associates led him to death.

This exemplifies the influence of the old upon the young – the young being lost, the old trying to save them. In an ideal situation, a young person can be brought to success by the mentoring & management of the older.

As far as benefit to the old lady, it gives her someone to love – It is better to give than to receive. Giving love & graces are wonderful activities.

 

4) What message regarding female sexuality do you hope young people take away from hearing about your experiences? 

          Rasa says: The male culture has fettered women on many levels, in so many ways: financially is a biggie. By gaining the resources, {depriving women of education & employment – the Ivy League Colleges only admitted females in 1976!..... Not long ago before the 2^nd wave of the women’s movement, the most likely ‘job’ a woman could get was to breed for the man – cook, clean, bed him, serial pregnancies, forever barefoot & pregnant – bad discrimination against women in the work place, paid less for the same jobs………. the men stealing money from women BY LAW {laws which leave the dead husband’s money to the son, not the wife! Even recently laws in America, a woman could not be given credit without the consent of her husband – a woman getting a mortgage was difficult alone.}

          There have been multiple cultural & legal norms which have kept women as slaves & de facto property of men, varying from country to country. In the theocratic Muslim countries a woman has no human rights. Even if she escapes by air flight, Westerners obey the Muslim laws & hand her over to her captors at the airport, because legally she has to have a ‘protector’ which is the Muslim term for the man who owns her - & after trying to escape they either imprison or kill her.

          Having said all that let me make one statement abut sex: When women have gained SEXUAL FREEDOM – when they decide to go against all that men tell them & all that men want them to do or not to do, & they have sex whenever they want, with whomever they want, & however many times they desire – they will have smashed the Patriarchy.

          Without SEXUAL CONTROL over women men have no power. They have nothing to fight for. Men fight to gain resources {land, money, wealth} to gain as many women as they can, consciously or unconsciously All the potentates as described by Dr. Bryan Sykes, geneticist, had hundreds, even thousands of wives. Genghis Kahn had 16k, the average Pharaoh had 300 – a piker he says.

          Look at the stag or horse with their harems. They fight off the males to breed with their females. But if the females refuse to stay in a bunch & run off to be with any other male – what do they fight for? No more harem, no more war.

          If women simply refused to obey males & their FAKE MORALS designed to control them – Patriarchy comes to an end. But as long as women FEAR men & the rules of their culture – men can & will control them.

          Some of the female students who met me said they wanted to be like me when they got old. Yes, they wanted to be free, not like their Grandmas who’d given up.

          I hope to set an example of freedom to women who are considered, by old men, ‘over the hill.’ Ratch up your confidence, young men want you, go out there & get’m.

          It WILL take courage but what have you got to lose? When you’re old what can society take from you? You’ve lived most of your life what will they deprive you of if you break taboos? Think about it. 

5) Any other comments or concerns? 

          Rasa says: We speak a lot about morality with sex issues. Some wise guys would ask me,

“Don’t you have any morals?”

          And I said “No.”

          WHO defines morals? The men? Who is God? Here is what God is, as revealed to me in late 2023:

          Take the entire Universe, which has no beginning & no end – no Big Bang – Infinite Galaxies & all that is in them & all the life on Infinite Planets – put it all together & that is the BODY of God - And all that you can’t see, the metaphysical, that is the Spirit of God. And who are we? Part of this Infinity, one & the same, & all LIFE that exists - exists within the Spirit & the Body of this Infinite God.

          Now SOMEONE comes along & tells US what this Infinite God wants, & by what authority? Jesus showed His authority by miracles, but what miracles do Patriarchs perform? They are nothing but a House of Terror, their Gods are War Gods for the sake of power & money. They have no authority to tell us right from wrong.

           This book is one of humor but underneath is a serious message. Take it either way. Read it & laugh, use it as entertainment. It’s sort of like a cartoon of a little old lady & a Giant Man like Goliath. She’s three feet tall, he’s ten. Suddenly she jumps in the air, lands him a punch, & he collapses into a heap of bones, & everyone laughs.

          So laugh with this book but see the Power of the little old lady. David of the Bible was Anointed by God - is she?

WILLIAM'S COMMENT:

Hi Rasa

This is my comment about this.-

Patriarchal morals not only attack women but men as well. Men off course want women to freely have sex with them. So if patriarchal morals condemn women for wanting to have sex with men, then many women don’t want to have sex with men, making it hard for men to find sexual partners. But this is only true of poorer men, wealthy men rarely miss out because they have to money to pay for high class prostitutes. 

This is because patriarchy doesn't benefit ordinary men. Because there is a huge gap between rich and poor and many men find themselves used as ‘cannon fodder’ in patriarchal wars. So the only people who benefit from patriarchy are wealthy men but not anyone else.

PETE'S (MY) COMMENT:

Those are excellent answers, Rasa. And also an excellent comment as well, William. Both of you have some very excellent insights overall.

Indeed, sexual freedom for Women is the ultimate "kill switch" for patriarchy. It upends the entire game of power and control and crumbles it to dust. And note also how there has never been any precedent of a society, no matter how strongly Matriarchal, in which Women had sexual freedom but men did not. (The ever-iron laws of "supply and demand" would mathematically preclude such a thing in practice, lol.) After all, patriarchy is indeed what sets the artificially and arbitrarily high "price floor" for sex by punishing and shaming Women for freely expressing their sexuality, and that benefits only the wealthy few at the expense of the many. And dovetailing with that, patriarchy itself ultimately always leads to oligarchy, plutocracy, and even kleptocracy. "Trickle-down" theory is this a bald-faced LIE of patriarchy, as is the corollary promise that it would somehow make "every man a king". (Riiiiiight. More like serfs, waged or otherwise.) It's the ultimate Ponzi scheme, pyramid scheme, and protection racket all rolled into one. The sooner it ends, on net the better we will ALL be, regardless of gender.

Patriarchy indeed has a rather nasty habit of backfiring on men as well. It may start out zero-sum (win-lose), but it is ultimately a very negative-sum (lose-lose) game in practice, at least in the long run. In contrast, Matriarchy is a positive-sum (win-win) game overall, mutually beneficial for Women and men as well.

As for that stuffy and ridiculous age gap taboo of older Women dating younger men, indeed smashing that taboo is also crucial to the goal of smashing the patriarchy. That's because that taboo is one of the biggest pillars propping the system up. If every younger man, or even just a slim majority of them, were to have a "mentor with benefits" in the form of an older Woman, patriarchy would likely end in as little as one generation. And a quick Google search of the topic would reveal that things are more or less moving in the right direction in that regard in recent years, slowly but surely.

Let the planetary healing begin!

Keep up the great work, Rasa!