ICYMI, Check Out Rasa's Latest Magnum Opus

ICYMI, be sure to check out the legendary Guru Rasa Von Werder's latest book now published and available on Lulu (as well as on Amazon, etc.): The Man Whisperer:  How an Old Lady Snags Young Men for Sex.  With its self-explanatory title, she chronicles and discusses in depth her experiences as a Cougar in the college town of Binghamton, New York, and shares some very important wisdom and lessons she has learned along the way as well.

Enjoy! 😊

P.S.  Not to toot my own horn, but the book also features a little bit of William Bond and myself as well. 😊

Reaffirming My Position Against Corporal Punishment Of Children

NOTE:  The opinions presented here are mine, and are not necessarily the same as those of others in the Matriarchy movement.  Caveat lector.

Recent research and current events have prompted me to reaffirm my position on an ethical issue that I feel strongly about.  I for one vehemently oppose the use of corporal punishment on children and teens.  There are literally reams and reams of social science research from over half a century now that conclusively show this outmoded practice to do far more harm than good on balance.  Seriously.  It is true that "edge" cases and outlier studies exist, of course, but these are essentially the very rare exceptions that only prove the rule.  The plural of "anecdote" is NOT "data", after all.  And besides, hitting is an inherently patriarchal and violent method of power and control, regardless of which gender practices it on whom, and I personally view it as immoral and incompatible with human rights.  And in order to be effective long-term, corporal punishment would generally have to exceed the bounds of what is currently considered humane for anyone (even POWs!) in the 21st century.  Again, not everyone in the movement will agree with me in that regard, but as a humanist this is a hill that I will die on.  Case closed, at least until the next meditation that tells me otherwise.

The late, great Jordan Riak (RIP) was right all along.  As is Elizabeth Gershoff, and Murray Straus as well as the late, great Alice Miller.

Of note, the late, great anthropologist Ashley Montagu, who wrote The Natural Superiority of Women, also strongly opposed corporal punishment of children.  As did the late, great Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., apparently, as well as so many other great thinkers from John Locke to St. Don Bosco to Maria Montessori to Dr. James W. Prescott.  Clearly, there is nothing Matriarchal about the practice, and it is fundamentally rooted in both patriarchy and adulto-patriarchy.

Frankly, all that hitting really teaches a child is 1) "don't get caught", 2) "might makes right", and 3) "do what you're told, or else!"  And the specious notion that violence is the go-to solution to problems.  It does NOT actually teach right and wrong, let alone empathy.  And even when it does superficially appear to "work", when the kids grow up, they become "Good Germans" in a society where 1/3 of the population is willing to kill another 1/3, while 1/3 watches.  Or at best, at least half of the population is happy on their knees.

In fact, further research has found a strong link between childhood corporal punishment and increased likelihood for political authoritarianism in adults.  That has actually been known since at least the 1940s.  And now in 2025, we are all now reaping the whirlwind from the wind that such budding authoritarians have sown.

Also, keep in mind that many of the same specious and often Machiavellian arguments used to justify hitting children can also just as likely be used to justify elder abuse as well.  Or any other vulnerable person as well for that matter.  So be very careful what you wish for, since we all know what they say about karma.  (By the way, the Law of Karma is really the "Law of Cause and Effect", not the "Law of the Carrot and Stick".)

Perhaps even the whole concept of relying on extrinsic motivation needs rethinking?

And that's before one even scratches the surface of the sexual aspect of spanking.  Disturbing as it sounds, that right there is most likely by far the number one cause of S&M behavior, both real and simulated, in the adults that those same kids eventually become.

So yes, there is a science to it.  And that science does NOT support it.  Perhaps one should learn nonviolent communication (NVC) instead.

In other words, it is LONG past time to dispense with the outmoded old husband's tale of "spare the rod, and spoil the child".  Which is actually a 17th century satire of the original words from that particular old husband, King Solomon himself, who was thought to be the original author of the Book of Proverbs in the Old Testament.

And ultimately, any religion or ideology that has to be literally beaten into a child is inherently a fatally flawed one.  Not like it is really a particularly Christian thing to do in any case.  Seriously, could you possibly imagine Jesus or Mary hitting a child for any reason?  You can't, can you.  So repent, and KNOCK IT OFF!

You wouldn't do it to an employee.

You wouldn't do it to a spouse or partner.

You wouldn't do it to a pet.

You wouldn't do it to a farm animal.

You wouldn't do it to an elderly dementia patient.

You wouldn't do it to a developmentally disabled adult.

You wouldn't even do it to a POW under the Geneva Conventions.

So why would you do it to a child of any age, especially one below the age of reason?

Oh, and by the way, the most recent pro-corporal punishment meta-analysis "study," by at least one author with an obvious axe to grind, has been roundly criticized as being biased if not totally rigged.  Meanwhile several other recent reviews and meta-analyses by different researchers continue to affirm the half-century scientific consensus that corporal punishment does more harm than good.

And finally, that leads to the next, more general question:  Is suffering good for the soul?  I personally don't believe that age-old, vexing question has a simple "yes" or "no" answer, but rather it is very, very nuanced.  One can argue that suffering is "the teacher of last resort", perhaps, and can indeed have utility at times, but it is not automatically or inherently good per se.  To argue that it is, is a very slippery slope, whose logic led to horrible atrocities like the Inquisition and the Burning Times, and ultimately by extension other horrible atrocities like the Nazi Holocaust as well.  Natch.

(The late, great Alice Miller, a survivor of the latter, must surely be spinning in her grave when anyone defends hitting/beating children!)

If it truly is God's Will for a particular individual to suffer in some way, it will happen regardless, without another person deliberately forcing it to happen to them.  To argue otherwise is to play God.

P.S. The racist and classist canard that children of some demographic groups (race, ethnicity, and socioeconomic status) somehow "need" to be hit more than others has also been debunked as well.

(Mic drop)

University Writes Article

(Originally posted by Rasa Von Werder on her blog)

Binghamton University article on latest book - She used my quotes wisely

 From sex work to age-gap relationships, von Werder, 79, wants women to break stigmas surrounding age and sexuality.

By Tresa Karnati - February 9, 2025

Rasa von Werder, who spent years in the Downtown Binghamton party scene dating younger men, is no stranger to discussions of sexuality. Born in 1945, von Werder, a self-proclaimed “cougar,” has been a bodybuilder and a stripper. A deeply spiritual person, she founded her own religion around female empowerment.

Last interviewed by Pipe Dream in 2016, von Werder has published over 20 books discussing these relationships during her years of partying in the area. Her most recent work, “The Man Whisperer: How an Old Lady Snags Young Men for Sex,” was published in December.

When von Werder began working in the adult trade, she soon became socially ostracized by her neighbors. She said that though sex work made money and had a few benefits, it does damage one’s reputation.

“You become suspect of having ‘loose morals’ or none at all — these moral codes being invented BY MEN to control women,” von Werder wrote to Pipe Dream. “Other sins are even imputed to the female, such as being a liar, thief, shady dealer, or druggie. These women are also seen as uncultured, unlettered & not so bright. Although there is some of that in the trade, it’s a stereotype & many don’t fall into these categories. But the STIGMA is there — the SUSPICION.”

In her 30s, von Werder took a vow of celibacy as a religious commitment. More than 30 years later, she felt called by God to “have fun” and began going to bars in Downtown Binghamton, where she became a fixture of nightlife for around a decade, saying that at 63, she “entered the world of dating & sex with great trepidation.”

Upon reentry into the bar scene, she felt called to enjoy her life despite facing possible judgments from others. But von Werder’s presence as an older woman did bring some challenges.

“I became subject to a lot of scorn & confusion when I went downtown & was hob knobbing with the youth,” she wrote. “They could not understand why I was there. An old woman is not supposed to have fun, enjoy life like younger people. She’s supposed to be shut up somewhere, far from everyone, doing traditional boring things, hiding out from any excitement.”

Uneasiness people sometimes feel around older women “not acting their age,” persists to this day, von Werder said. This idea that women are meant to fade into the background as they age made her more determined to dismantle this stigma.

Over the years, she has had multiple relationships with younger men that she details in her book. She promotes and embraces the idea that older women can guide younger men in relationships. When faced with pushback surrounding these relationships, she said while many young people may experience shame about making these relationships public, some still engage in them privately.

Although her relationships have been unconventional, she feels that older women should shed this stigma. While acknowledging that women have historically been controlled through a lack of financial independence, she believes sex also has a role to play in this disparity.

“If women simply refused to obey males & their FAKE MORALS designed to control them — Patriarchy comes to an end,” she added. “But as long as women FEAR men & the rules of their culture — men can & will control them.”

“Women supported women, they did not compete or turn against one another to gain favor with men — men did not have power & even the paternity of the children was not important, as it was the women who owned all the resources & controlled them,” von Werder said of matriarchal societies of the past.

Regarding the stigma that many older women experience when being sexually open, von Werder urged women of all ages not to surrender to social norms.

“I hope to set an example of freedom to women who are considered, by old men, ‘over the hill,’” von Werder wrote. “Ratch up your confidence, young men want you, go out there & get’m. It WILL take courage but what have you got to lose? When you’re old what can society take from you? You’ve lived most of your life what will they deprive you of if you break taboos? Think about it.”

Original BU article can be found here.

https://www.bupipedream.com/news/rasa-article/161167/