Rasa's Answers to Ajax
Patriarchy Has A Kill Switch, And We Already Know What It Is (Updated for 2025) Thursday, 13 March 2025
By
PART ONE
Author Yuri Zavorotny wrote a great article four years ago for Medium, in which he articulates something that we all intuitively know (but often don't want to say out loud) about the patriarchy and how to end it. After first establishing that patriarchy is inherently evil (and thus cannot be redeemed), he then goes on about what holds it all together. This thing that holds the entire construct all together is its sine qua non and thus is it's own Achilles' heel, and that thing is control of female sexuality, and the primary tool used to control that is slut-shaming. That is, the shaming of Women for expressing their sexuality in the way they choose. And thus the "kill switch" is to put an end to this utterly toxic and outmoded practice of slut-shaming.
Rasa says: Wow. Yes I recall your ‘magnum opus’ or one of the many chart-toppers you’ve produced, this is absolutely spot on & beyond anything the other ‘female empowerment pundits-feminists’ have written.
Now this is important: It isn’t only WORDS that embody slut-shaming, just as freedom of speech is not only words but DEEDS. It’s the way women are TREATED when they break the rules – that is, they are cast out, marginalized, looked down upon, given less respect or love or services, put against a wall & ‘stoned to death’ if not literally, psychologically. Of course, some places, like the Muslim countries, they are literally murdered.
Wait, what? There is still slut-shaming in 2024? Absolutely. It has diminished somewhat since the (largely male-defined) "sexual revolution" half a century ago, to be sure, but it is still there. The double standard still exists, and it has in fact become more of a double bind in which Women are expected to be "sexy" (as defined by males) but not sexual by their own definition. And ending it is thus the unfinished business of both feminism and the real sexual revolution for Women.
Rasa: Woman are still prisoners of the standards set by men. We are bound up in our MINDS – our heads are fettered, chained & beaten in by the system. Therefore we have FEAR. I explained how the HYSTERIA surrounding me in my rural neighborhood makes people FEAR me at times to the degree they won’t work for me! This goes for GROWN MEN as well as women, lol.
(Most ironically, even today to some extent, some Women often still enforce it on each other as well--talk about being one's own worst enemy! At best, that's NOT a sisterhood, that's a cartel, driven by an internalized misogynistic slave mentality.)
Rasa: Indeed it is the women who are ‘their own worst enemies’ & those of other women. Men set the standards, then wait for women to comply, to step in line, & to beat up their sisters if they step out. If women stopped doing this to themselves & other women, we’d win the war.
That's not the only double bind here, there is also the historical one in which Women are expected to both obey men as well as be the "gatekeepers" of sex, with no way to opt out of either contradictory requirement.
As Yuri Zavorotny himself says:
So here is our kill switch: we stop telling women when, where and with whom she is allowed to get involved romantically. Her body, her choice. And she is perfectly capable of making it a responsible choice, thank you very much.
And lest anyone misunderstand his words, read too much into it, or try to put words in his mouth:
NOTE: This is not to suggest that anyone should change their own behavior. We do whatever we are comfortable with. That, of course, includes staying monogamous, still a perfectly valid choice. But it can not be justified as a moral choice anymore -- rather, it is a personal preference.
Female sexuality (or more accurately, female-defined sexuality) is an extremely powerful force to be reckoned with, which is why the patriarchy has gone out of its way to suppress it (and/or supplant it with male-defined sexuality). As I have repeatedly noted before, the suppression of Women's sexuality was not entirely about maintaining control over the male bloodline (though that was originally a major part of it), but more generally about power and control over Women directly, as well as over other men indirectly via artificial scarcity. Ditto for patriarchy's equally peculiar prohibitions against self-pleasuring and homosexuality as well. Let that sink in for a moment.
In a similar vein, patriarchy's favorite brainchild, capitalism, needs scarcity (whether real or artificial) to function. That is how the oligarchs control the serfs. And the kill switch of capitalism is thus to give it the one thing it cannot survive--abundance. The analogy should be apparent now.
Ending slut-shaming will not end patriarchy overnight, of course, but is nonetheless necessary for it to end sooner rather than later. And if we wait until we return to full-blown Matriarchy before liberating Women's sexuality, we will never be ready, as Women's sexual liberation is a key step on the path to Matriarchy. That is, if we make the perfect the enemy of the good, we ultimately end up with neither.
Rasa: We friends have agreed this is the KILL SWITCH, so until this switch is pulled, there IS NO MATRIARCHY. What is Matriarchy? Main thing again I say, we agree, is SEXUAL FREEDOM.
Furthermore, as I have noted in another article, any attempt at a reactionary "sexual counterrevolution" is of course doomed to backfire and ultimately fail to benefit Women on balance. Ditto for any conservative, reactionary, neoliberal, anti-modernist, primitivist, or pseudo-feminist attempts to dismantle the social welfare state as well, by the way.
One thing needs to be crystal clear. As hard as we fight for the right to say "yes" to sex, we must also fight at least twice as hard for the right to say "NO" as well. The LAST thing we want is for sex of any kind to be perceived as mandatory in any way, so enthusiastic and mutual consent must be a precondition for all sexual acts, period. And that is true for both Women and men, by the way. Also, we must be careful not to fall in the trap of the "reverse double standard" that has become in vogue in some circles these days (Oprah and Dr. Phil, I'm looking at YOU!), in which men are the ones vilified for their sexuality while Women are ignored (if not celebrated) for doing the same exact things. Doing so is a sure path to a sort of "reverse patriarchy", not the Matriarchy proper that we should be aiming for. The same goes for a "reverse double bind" as well, which is also infantilizing to Women.
Rasa says: William has written an extremely interesting/important idea today. He says something to the effect we are ‘the religion of sex’ Lol, let’s do it. Now as far as the Order – How do we work our sex activities? We need to ‘sit down’ & write out how, in th New Order/Religion, which is SAFE SPACE FOR WOMEN, we allow those sex-obsessed men [all men lol] to enter our fold & have sex. We discussed this before but we need to fine tune it. And let’s be straight right now - no female in our Order will be forced, intimidated, pushed or encouraged to have sex against her will or with someone she doesn’t choose herself. The female freedom in our Order will be absolute.
(Note that there is in fact NO proven precedent in all of recorded history where Women had sexual freedom but men did not, or at least not for long enough to ever be recorded, probably because doing so is mathematically impossible without creating a massive "black market" for sex per the iron laws of supply and demand.)
Put simply: Women should have the absolute right to be as sexual--or not--as they themselves want to be, without the need for justification or apology to anyone, period. To quote the legendary Guru Rasa Von Werder:
"My associate
So what are we waiting for? Kill Switch Engage! Let the planetary healing begin!
PART TWO
In Part One above originally from a while ago, I had discussed how Women's sexual freedom would be the ultimate kill switch to end patriarchy. But one aspect of this topic had been a bit neglected in that article, unfortunately.
Basically, I have gotten into some online debates from time to time about the "incel" (involuntary celibacy) problem. Many self-identified incels are of course misogynistic trolls with an entitlement complex, but not all of them are. And even some genuine ones seem to think that the "permissiveness" resulting from the sexual revolution has made their situation worse, and give various "evolutionary psychology" arguments. So here is my response to all of that:
First and foremost, equality of opportunity and equality of outcome are mutually exclusive, and trying to force equal outcomes on everyone by fiat has a way of backfiring hard, as many have learned the hard way throughout history. That is true for economics as well as for sex and relationships. So aim for equal opportunity as your North Star instead.
And in any case, since there are really only two ways to attempt to force equal outcomes on everyone in terms of sex and relationships, either 1) treat all Women as "private property" of individual men, or 2) treat all Women as "public property" of all men collectively, that means that there is absolutely NO ethical way to do so whatsoever. (The late Andrea Dworkin would have a field day with that!) That is because Women are, you know, full human beings, NOT "property" in any sense of the word, period. Capisce?
Any ethical solution must, at the very minimum, fight twice as hard for the right to say "no" as for the right to say "yes". After all, rape culture with a smiley face is still rape culture.
Furthermore, most "evolutionary psychology" is, in a word, BS. With NO apologies to Jordan Peterson at all.
"Hypergamy" (dating or marrying "up") by Women is really NOT natural, but is rather a socially constructed effect of capitalism and a hangover of patriarchy, for obvious reasons.
Rasa: You said a mouthful here. Marrying for money has been a necessary EVIL for many women. They fixed it that way so to find SOLVENCY we had to look for it IN A MAN instead of ourselves. - The hook, the bait, the web, the way by which to Lord it over us.
Ditto for the bandied-about "80/20" rule, which itself is grossly exaggerated. But to the extent that the sexual revolution has anything at all to do with it, it is basically the opposite of what the manosphere claims. If anything, slut-shaming only makes Women that much MORE picky and/or superficial in regards to men than they would otherwise be, and thus MORE likely to prefer high-status men over low-status men, because if they are going to take such a risk, they might as well make it as "worth their while" as possible. (After all, despite their actually higher sex drive overall, Women's demand for sex is far more "elastic" than men's is: for Women, no sex is typically better than bad sex, for obvious reasons, whereas for men, it's typically the reverse.)
And since the sexual revolution in the Anglosphere, especially the USA, was half-assed and did NOT go to completion, thanks to the "culture wars", what has resulted is that our society is now JUST barely permissive enough for Women to go all-in with high-status men, but still NOT quite permissive enough yet for them to do the same with lower-status men, lest they get shamed for it. And in parallel with that, when high-status or elite Women hook up with many male partners it is considered "classy", provided those men are also high-status, while many of those same Women hypocritically consider it "trashy" when lower-status Women follow in their footsteps, because reasons. (News flash: that is NOT what a sisterhood looks like, that is a CARTEL.) Thus, the real solution is NOT to roll back the sexual revolution, as that would only further deepen this quagmire, but rather to let it finally go to completion like it largely has in the Nordic countries, the
(Now, the Nordic countries are NOT perfect by a long shot, of course. Three out of the five Nordic countries (
There are indeed lots and lots of otherwise very prosocial and community-minded Women out there who are unfortunately deterred from doing what they really want to do sexually, and would otherwise do largely for mutual pleasure in a sexually free society, due to all of the slut-shaming that still exists even in 2024, especially when also combined with the relative lack of a Nordic style social safety net in the USA as well. This is yet another way that the patriarchy has a nasty habit of backfiring on men, and especially when it is combined with the brutal logic of capitalism and neoliberalism.
(That's simply "erotic plasticity" put another way, with no apologies to Roy Baumeister.)
As for the thinly-veiled misogynistic manosphere canard that when Women (but not men, because reasons) have many sex partners, they supposedly "lose their ability to pair-bond", kinda like how adhesive tape becomes progressively less sticky the more times it is re-used, well, that utterly specious claim of a causal link has never actually been proven. The supposed observational evidence they cite can be very easily explained away by reverse causation, namely, those of either gender with a low capacity (or paradoxically, a very high capacity) to pair-bond to begin with are more likely to have many partners, NOT the other way around. And sometimes, you may simply need to "kiss a lot of frogs" to find the prince, as the saying goes. Either way, we all need to stop slut-shaming, yesterday. It serves NO valid purpose whatsoever.
And we certainly do NOT need a "price floor" for sex. Rather, what we need is a DIGNITY floor, where both genders treat each other as ends in themselves, not solely as means to an end, per Immanuel Kant's categorical imperative in general. (Too bad he was so antisexual himself, otherwise he would have had a great model of sexual ethics too.)
Rasa: Re this DIGNITY floor where both genders are more loving to each other – William Bond says something relative to this & I agree: He says women KNOW how to love but men DON’T. Women keep GIVING men more & more love in hopes they will behave, but it only SPOILS them. The more we give, the more they expect, it makes them feel they are more WORTHY! Men NEED to learn how to love. That means EDUCATION & DISCIPLINE from women to men. The way you’re speaking it sounds like you believe men & women are on a level playing field, they BOTH need to learn to treat the other with respect.
There has to be a SCHOOL of learning for men, such as the ancient way of TANTRA or in some medieval circles {so I saw in a movie} the school of the ROMANTIC. Men have to learn to BEHAVE with women when wanting sex – or wanting anything for that matter – or even if NOT wanting anything – just being decent in honor of womanhood or humanhood or animalhood! A poor, decrepit woman in the alley who’s in rags, homeless, cold & hungry should not be passed over with neglect, she should be looked upon as having the same value as any human being or animal……..
On a ‘regular’ social scale, there is courtly or considerate behavior, being a gentleman in all ways, being polite, {where are the manners of the majority of people?} caring, & if if wanting sex, obsequious, gracious to a fault or ‘romantic.’ Let’s talk about how we will employ this school of behavior in our Order! Have classes for do’s & don’ts – How to converse, how NOT to converse {OMG the GROSSNESS we have heard from men when wanting sex!}how to act or not act, etc. There’s A LOT to learn here – for men - & if we are going to be ‘the religion of sex’ for our young ladies also. We shall discuss this later at length.
(AJAX (PETE) adds: Well said, Rasa. To clarify what I said about the dignity floor for both Women and men, I meant that normatively, that is, how it ought to be, not descriptively. Of course, the current playing field is unfortunately far from level, no doubt about that.)
There are also ecological benefits to sexual freedom as well. Once the sexual revolution is fully complete, hypergamy has withered on the vine, and the "cost" of sex has thus been rightsized, maybe then the men of the sci-tech persuasion wouldn't feel the need (as much, at least) to keep raping the Earth to build more ever-larger phallus-extending "Towers of Babel" (i.e. frivolous, destructive, and/or inappropriate technologies) of mindless aggrandizement to impress Women just so they can get laid. (Even nerdy men tend to have one-track minds, lol.)
Rasa: Another mouthful. Yes, if you read Dr. Bryan Sykes he expains rightfully men do EVERYTHING t get laid - for concubines. He goes into the Kings & Pharaohs, how Gheghis Kahn had 16k wives from his wars while Pharaohs had hundreds. It’s all about sex. And yes, I have experienced this – they ALL hit on me for sex. As a young, beautiful sexy female I got it from all angles & all men. Life was in some ways unbearable when EVERY man I met saw me as a sex object - & I mean EVERY. Those you would think were nerds or doctors or married men, or ancient, ALL THE SAME.
Maybe men of the warrior persuasion would be less likely to want to start wars or go to war, for the same reason. And, God willing, maybe men in general in the rich countries would be far more willing to reduce their outsized "standard of living" (in terms of material and resource consumption) to one that the Earth can actually afford in the long run, and not one that requires multiple Earths worth of resources, for the same reason. Conspicuous consumption as a thinly-veiled, plausibly-deniable mating ritual would thus be far more likely to desist.
And thus this whole silly game of "king of the hill" writ large will finally end, God willing.
Freud's Civilization And Its Discontents thesis has really long since jumped the shark! It's not the 19th century anymore.
(And to any angry incels reading this: seriously, lose the entitlement attitude, yesterday. It is really quite unbecoming. Or to put in your very own lingo: stop simping for Stacy, and give Becky a chance. Let Stacy and
To reiterate from my previous article:
As Yuri Zavorotny himself says:
So here is our kill switch: we stop telling women when, where and with whom she is allowed to get involved romantically. Her body, her choice. And she is perfectly capable of making it a responsible choice, thank you very much.
And lest anyone misunderstand his words, read too much into it, or try to put words in his mouth:
NOTE: This is not to suggest that anyone should change their own behavior. We do whatever we are comfortable with. That, of course, includes staying monogamous, still a perfectly valid choice. But it can not be justified as a moral choice anymore -- rather, it is a personal preference.
Female sexuality (or more accurately, female-defined sexuality) is an extremely powerful force to be reckoned with, which is why the patriarchy has gone out of its way to suppress it (and/or supplant it with male-defined sexuality). All the more reason to unleash it in like fashion, and put an end to the toxic "commodity model" of sexuality.
Rasa: Dale Spender, who did a thesis called “Man Made Language” explained how the world, through our words, is defined by men & the vocabulary for male sexuality is positive, while female’s’ is negative – Men are ‘virile,’ women are either ‘frigid’ or ‘promiscuous.’ They have allowed no word to define healthy female sexuality.
(AJAX (PETE) adds: BINGO. That is very telling, the way it is socially constructed by the patriarchy.)
Until then, we will have 1) too many men chasing too few Women overall, AND simultaneously 2) too many Women chasing too few high-status men, with the latter having plenty of options and taking full advantage of such bargaining power. And both low to average-status men, as well as Women in general, get screwed (and not in a good way!) in this stagflationary quagmire. It's "musical chairs" both ways. The song "
So what are we waiting for? Kill Switch Engage! Let the planetary healing begin!
P.S. If anyone still thinks that Jordan Peterson's idea of "enforced monogamy" is a real solution to the incel problem, well, I've got a nice bridge I'd like to sell you. As for the jealousy problem, the best his "solution" can do is to "flatten the curve" of jealousy in the short run, while in the long run, that green-eyed monster will unfortunately still be there waiting to pop up and strike at any moment, and thus the area under the curve will be the same or even greater. Better to deal with it head-on instead, and try one's best to sublimate it as much as possible into its antithesis, known as "compersion", or "frubbly" in the vernacular. In other words, think "abundance mindset", not "scarcity mindset".
Rasa: It seems men always have a voice, so now it’s ‘incels.’ Where are the females who can’t get a man. Of course, there are less of them than there are men, but I don’t hear any complaints from them. Women are silent, their needs have little voice. Men are always loud. They must be heard, so self-important, they can’t be left alone or left out, they have to intrude everywhere we are. Leave us alone! Unless we call you.
And speaking of jealousy, for those Women who are worried about men choosing AI girlfriends and robots over them, worry not. Remember, "it is the SPIRIT the quickens" (i.e. gives life), NOT the flesh. And AI has neither. Thus, any man who is even remotely worth your time and energy will not choose AI over you (unless you literally bring nothing at all to the table, but even then, they would choose another real-life Woman instead, not AI). If anything, AI and robots would be good for keeping the misogynistic miscreant trolls happily occupied so they (hopefully) stay far away from real-life Women, and since they would be less likely to procreate, that problem is thus largely self-correcting in the long run. (Mic drop)
Rasa: The incels should choose robots & shut up. If women don’t want them there’s a reason. Live with it, we live with our problems.
Thank
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