The Misogyny-Misandry Death Spiral

With all that has been going on in the world lately, one common thread seems to be noticeable these days.  Scratch the surface of so many problems, and you will often find some flavor of misogyny lurking under the surface.

First, some definitions:

Misogyny:  hatred and/or hostility towards Women and girls

Misandry:  hatred and/or hostility towards men and boys

Misanthropy:  hatred and/or hostility towards humanity in general, regardless of gender

After the 2024 election in the USA, the 4B Movement (of Women to essentially boycott men) began trending stateside online, though it was already several years old by then in the Republic of Korea (South Korea), its birthplace.  Dig a little deeper into exactly why it originated there, of all countries, and you will see that they actually have a pretty massive and systemic misogyny problem over there.  It's often very subtle of course, and the fellas there always seem so nice and friendly to outside observers from the rest of the world, but beware:  a "kinder, gentler patriarchy" is still a patriarchy.  They are basically a traditional society that has rapidly (and unevenly) modernized, and still has a LOT of old patriarchal baggage to unpack.  And just beneath the surface, it is apparently downright horrifying for so many of the Women of South Korea, so much that so many want nothing to do with men at all if they can help it.  And it really shows most starkly of all in their all-time record low birthrates (lowest in the world currently, with a TFR of as low as 0.80-0.90 children per Woman, less than half the replacement of 2.1) which no amount of pronatalism seems to be able to raise.  

Even their utterly dystopian and Stalinist totalitarian neighbor to the north (the DPRK, or North Korea) somehow manages significantly higher rates of procreation than South Korea these days, so that really says something indeed!

Now zoom out to the world as a whole, particularly on the internet and social media.  Misogyny seems to be reactionary, refractory, and recrudescent in recent years all over the world, with the USA being the most recent ground zero for this ugly trend.  And in very recent years, especially online, you will also notice at least in some circles an equal and opposite reaction (i.e. misandry) per Newton's laws of physics, even though it is not systemic like misogyny is.  But it does appear to unwittingly give ammunition to the latter all the same, unfortunately.  And social media only amplifies both hostilities further, and it ultimately spills over into the offline world as well.  Zoom out even further and look at it on a longer time scale as well, and you will clearly see a vicious cycle and downward spiral occur as follows:

Misogyny begets misandry begets misogyny begets misandry begets misogyny begets misandry begets misogyny begets misandry begets misogyny begets misandry begets misogyny, and so on.

It's enough to turn practically anyone into a full-blown, all-around misanthrope!  At least then, you don't actually have to decide which gender you dislike the most.

This phenomenon is what I call the "Misogyny-Misandry Death Spiral", or MMDS for short.  And the MMDS is a negative-sum (lose-lose) game for all. It leads to nothing but tribalism, polarization, balkanization, and toxicity all around. As Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. famously said, "Hate cannot drive out hate.  Only love can do that".

Divide et impera. Divide and rule. Rinse and repeat. While the oligarchs laugh at the "little people" all the way to the bank.

The results of the 2024 election in the USA are in fact both a cause and a consequence of this vicious death spiral, which threatens to destroy the country, and ultimately the world if left unchecked.

Of course, men could very easily end this spiral right now along with the broader gender war if they truly wanted to, by "accepting the unacceptable" and surrendering to Women.  But unfortunately, there is nowhere near a critical mass willing to do so at this time yet.

Does Paid Family Leave Really Hurt Women?

Last year, an op-ed at CNN by Vanessa Brown Calder of the pro-corporate LOLbertarian Cato Institute claimed that paid family leave policies actually backfire on Women by making companies less likely to hire them as well as entrenching traditional gender roles.  She seems to see it as a zero-sum game.  And to this day, the article is still being linked to on other articles discussing this important topic.

First of all, except for a very few states, the USA is the only modern or even semi-modern country that does not offer any paid leave for Mothers, let alone fathers or anyone else for that matter.  And even then, the few states that do are rather stingy  compared to most other industrialized nations.  The USA makes Scrooge look like Santa Claus by comparison in that regard. (So much for "Mothers and apple pie".)

Secondly, is there really any truth to the op-ed author's specious claim?  According to the weight of research evidence over the past decade or two, not really.  Except perhaps for poorly-designed programs that 1) force employers to pay for it, rather than via taxes (or money creation), 2) are limited only to mothers or are otherwise not gender neutral, and/or 3) have an unusually long duration--though that last one remains debatable, given the stunning success in the Nordic countries (whose durations of paid leave often exceed a year).  In fact, the only robust downside--if one can even call it that--to long leave durations (i.e. longer than a year) is that they tend to discourage Mothers from returning to paid work compared with durations between nine months and a year.  (A very subjective "downside" at that.)

Otherwise, the well-documented benefits to Women, children, society, and even men as well outweigh any supposed costs.  Ultimately, everyone is better off as a result. It is a win-win-win situation for everyone but the oligarchs.

Of course, once Women finally reclaim their rightful place as the new leaders of the free world, this will no longer even be a debate anymore.

True, paid family leave is not an end goal, but merely a good starting point for a more equitable society overall.  Other things need to happen as well, such as Universal Basic Income, single-payer Medicare For All, shorter and more flexible workweeks for all workers, equal pay, affordable high-quality childcare, as well as longer-term cultural changes as well.  And of course, the biggest elephant in the room--MEN--need to start pulling their weight for once.  But in the meantime, if we make the perfect the enemy of the good, we ultimately end up with neither.  So what are we waiting for?