Wednesday, April 3, 2024

Why Telling Women "Just Get Married" Is The Most Tone-Deaf Advice There Is

An excellent article by Lyz Lenz was written recently as a rebuttal to that famous viral essay on marriage published in The Cut.  Lenz points out that, contrary to what some believe, marriage is NOT a panacea, nor is it really a way for Women to opt out of capitalism.  And telling Women to "just get married" as the go-to solution is utterly tone-deaf and really misses the mark by a very large margin.

The idea of "traditional" marriage as some sort of a "benevolent protectorate" for Women is really quite ironic, as under patriarchy it (like patriarchy itself) has historically been more like a protection RACKET.  That is literally why the "institution of marriage" was invented in the first place, for men to control Women (and not the other way around, as men often like to claim when they think they are being clever).  And while times have indeed changed, the fact remains that today's "kinder, gentler patriarchy" is still patriarchy, and can still be a trap for Women (even if it can sometimes backfire on men as well, granted).  That is not to say that marriage cannot ever be repurposed by Women for their own benefit, of course.  But the specious notion that it is somehow the end-all-be-all or sine qua non for everyone is woefully outdated and outmoded at best.  

In other words, as Lenz says, "gilded cages are still cages".  And as for it being a means of opting out of capitalism, that is also not possible as long as patriarchy and capitalism remain joined at the hip (as they have been for centuries). 

Anyway, Lenz does a better job explaining it than I ever could, so be sure to read her article

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