Kingdom Of The Women: A Case Study Of The Mosuo

The following words are from the legendary Guru Rasa von Werder and the great Apostle William Bond, commenting on an article written by Choo Waihong.

KINGDOM OF THE WOMEN

here’s a letter from William Bond:

Hi Everyone,

There is a new theory about homosexuality that suggests that humans lived in a society very much like the bonobo ape. Evolutionary theory always had a problem with homosexuality because same sex relations doesn’t produce children. The new theory suggests homosexuality comes about to bond people together like we see in the bonobo ape society.

So it does give further proof that we we once lived in highly sexual, Matriarchal communities. (Though the article doesn’t mention Matriarchy.)…………………………..William

The article is written by Andrew Barron, a professor at Macquarie University:     “Homosexuality may have evolved for social, not sexual reasons”

Rasa Von Werder says:   “Sex supplies a need for love, not merely procreation.”

 HI William & Ajax ----   YES SOCIAL BONDING WITH SEX IS A GOOD THING.  AND IT WOULD BE ANOTHER REASON PATRIARCHS DON'T WANT SEX TO BE 'FREE'  & 'OPEN' - IT PACIFIES MALES.  

KAY GRIGGS EXPLAINED IN HER INTERVIEWS HOW THE MILITARY ACTUALLY SEEKS YOUNG MALES WHO ARE MENTALLY UNSTABLE, -- LIKE PSYCHOPATHS, THOSE WHO ARE EMOTIONALLY, MENTALLY UNHINGED, TO USE THEM FOR THEIR PURPOSES, ONE OF WHICH IS TO ASSASSINATE PEOPLE.   THEY TAKE ALSO DIRT-POOR BOYS FROM THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES, WITHOUT EVEN PAYING THEM MUCH, TELL THEM TO GO HERE & THERE, KILL THIS PERSON - THE BOYS GO CRAZY AFTER A WHILE, THEY DON'T EVEN GET PROPER MONEY FOR MURDERING PEOPLE.  THESE ARE KILLINGS WHICH THE BOYS DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT'S ABOUT - I IMAGINE POLITICALLY INSPIRED ONES, OR ACTS OF TERRORISM TO DESTABILIZE AN AREA.  THAT'S WHAT THEY DID TO TIM MCVEIGH, THEY DROVE HIM CRAZY.

AND SO OF COURSE THEY DON'T WANT HAPPY, STABLE PEOPLE, THEY WANT  CRAZED MISERABLE PEOPLE TO BRAINWASH.

DR. JAMES W. PRESCOTT EXPLAINS THE PRINCIPLES OF 'BODY PLEASURE & THE ORIGINS OF VIOLENCE'.  HE PROVED HOW SOCIETIES WHICH GIVE PHYSICAL PLEASURE TO INFANTS (BREAST FEEDING, SKIN TO SKIN CONTACT WITH MOM, HOLDING, CARRYING, ROCKING) & WHICH PERMIT PREMARITAL SEX & DO NOT HAVE SEXUAL REPRESSION OF WOMEN ARE LESS VIOLENT THAN THOSE SOCIETIES OPPOSITE OF THAT.  I HAVE A BIG CHAPTER OF HIS WRITINGS IN MY BOOK  CALLED 'BREASTFEEDING IS LOVE MAKING BETWEEN MOTHER & CHILD.'

ON THE JACKET OF THE BOOK I WRITE THAT BREASTFEEDING, CLOSENESS & INTIMACY WITH MOM FOR A MINIMUM OF 2.5 YRS  (5-6 YEARS IS BETTER, THE IMMUNE SYSTEM DOESN'T STOP DEVELOPING UNTIL THEN) BEGETS SECURITY, SERENITY, PSYCHIC & SEXUAL HEALTH AS WELL AS OPTIMUM BRAIN GROWTH, WHILE LACK OF SAME CAUSES VIOLENCE, DEPRESSION & ADDICTION IN ADULTHOOD.

LACK OF CLOSENESS, INTIMACY WITH MOM IN INFANCY/CHILDHOOD CAUSES  *****SEXUAL DYSFUNCTION*****, ADDICTION, HOMICIDE, SUICIDE, DEPRESSION, ANXIETY -- IN OTHER WORDS, BEING MISERABLE, DYSFUNCTIONAL  TO THE MAX.  OUR  PATRIARCHAL SOCIETY IS ONE IN WHICH 'ATTACHMENT DISORDER' IS PANDEMIC - MOST IF NOT ALL OF US ARE SUFFERING FROM LACK OF MATERNAL AFFECTION--(WHICH GIVES US THE SENSE OF SECURITY, STABILITY & SAFETY) BECAUSE PATRIARCHY DEGRADES THE MOTHER/CHILD RELATIONSHIP.  IT DOES NOT SUPPORT, ENCOURAGE MATERNAL LOVE - IT PLACES OUR RESOURCES NOT IN MOTHERS BUT RATHER INSTITUTIONS.-- IT'S WOMEN WHO HAVE TO BE SUPPORTED--ENCOURAGED, APPRECIATED AS THE LEADERS OF CHILDREN, NOT PATRIARCHY & ITS AGENCIES (IN THE PAST, MOSTLY RUN BY MALES & THEIR PRINCIPLES—fortunately, this is changing & eventually they will be lead by women......

(MALE DOCTORS, THERAPISTS, PSYCHIATRISTS & PSYCHOLOGISTS.  CHILDREN DIE UNDER THEIR LEADERSHIP - ENTIRE ORPHANAGES HAVE BEEN EMPTIED TO DEATH AS MALE DOCTORS TOLD THE CARE GIVERS NEVER TO TOUCH THE CHILDREN EXCEPT TO FEED & CLEAN THEM........THE MILITARY HAS ALSO DONE EXPERIMENTS ON INNOCENT ORPHANS, KILLING THEM ALL.)

THIS PRINCIPLE CORRELATES WITH SEXUALITY - DR. PRESCOTT SAYS, & I AGREE, YOUNG PEOPLE SHOULD BE LEFT ALONE TO DO THEIR SEXUAL GAMES (LIKE PLAY DOCTOR) & AS THEY GET OLDER, ALLOW THEM TO DO AS THEY WISH SEX WISE.  YOU NOTICE HOW SEXUALITY IS TURNED INTO SOMETHING DANGEROUS & IMMORAL?  THE PREACHING OF DISEASES IS THE MAIN TUTORIAL RECEIVED BY TEENS:  SEX IS SO DANGEROUS, DON'T DO IT...............................

  BUT SEX IS LOVE (GENERALLY SPEAKING, IN MOST CASES, NOT IN ABUSE & RAPE OF COURSE), YOUNG PEOPLE NEED LOVE.  (NOT TO BE ABUSED, LET THEM HAVE LOVE WITH EACH OTHER, STOP REPRESSING THEIR SEXUALITY LIKE IT'S IMMORAL, DANGEROUS & UGLY.  HE TEACHES ON THIS EXTENSIVELY.

AND OF COURSE WOMEN ARE SLUT SHAMED.  AS SOON AS WOMEN GET INJURED, VICTIMIZED, EVEN DEAD WOMEN--YOU REMEMBER MRS. O.J. SIMPSON?  AFTER HER DEATH THE DEFENSE SLUT-SHAMED HER, AS THEY DO MANY WOMEN KILLED BY MEN - IMPLYING THAT 'SHE WAS A SLUT, THEREFORE, IT WAS ALRIGHT TO KILL HER, OR AT THE VERY LEAST, HE SHOULD BE GIVEN A MORE LENIENT SENTENCE BECAUSE SHE WAS A SLUT.  'SLUTS ARE IMMORAL, THEY DESERVE TO DIE.' 

THAT'S HOW PATRIARCHY WORKS - SHAME PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY WOMEN, SCARE THEM. WHEN PEOPLE IN LEADERSHIP IMPLY YOU ARE IMMORAL—PEOPLE IN CHARGE WHO CAN HURT YOU-- IT'S SCARY.

INDEED, SEXUAL FREEDOM IS AN IMPORTANT FACET OF FEMALE EMPOWERMENT.  LOOK AT THE MOSUOS.  THEY HAVE WHAT'S CALLED 'WALKING MARRIAGE.'

THE KINGDOM OF THE WOMEN WHERE MEN NEVER RULE

It’s a place where women rule, marriage doesn’t exist and everything follows the maternal bloodline. But is it as good for women as it sounds – and how long can it last?

Imagine a society without fathers; without marriage (or divorce); one in which nuclear families don’t exist. Grandmother sits at the head of the table; her sons and daughters live with her, along with the children of those daughters, following the maternal bloodline. Men are little more than studs, sperm donors who inseminate women but have, more often than not, little involvement in their children’s upbringing.
This progressive, feminist world – or anachronistic matriarchy, as skewed as any patriarchal society, depending on your viewpoint – exists in a lush valley in Yunnan, south-west China, in the far eastern foothills of the Himalayas. An ancient tribal community of Tibetan Buddhists called the Mosuo, they live in a surprisingly modern way: women are treated as equal, if not superior, to men; both have as many, or as few, sexual partners as they like, free from judgment; and extended families bring up the children and care for the elderly. But is it as utopian as it seems? And how much longer can it survive?
Choo Waihong set about finding out. A successful corporate lawyer from Singapore, she left her job in 2006 to travel. Having trained and worked in Canada, the US and London, she felt drawn to visit China, the country of her ancestors. After reading about the Mosuo, she decided to take a trip to their picturesque community – a series of villages dotted around a mountain and Lugu Lake – as many tourists do. But something beyond the views and clean air grabbed her.
“I grew up in a world where men are the bosses,” she says. “My father and I fought a lot – he was the quintessential male in an extremely patriarchal Chinese community in Singapore. And I never really belonged at work; the rules were geared towards men, and intuitively understood by them, but not me. I’ve been a feminist all my life, and the Mosuo seemed to place the female at the centre of their society. It was inspiring.”

Warm, curious and quick-witted, Waihong made friends quickly. She discovered that Mosuo children “belong” only to their mothers – their biological fathers live in their own matriarchal family home. Young Mosuo are brought up by their mothers, grandmothers, aunts and uncles.
From the perspective of an outsider – particularly one from China, from where the majority of tourists come – the Mosuo are “condemned” as a society of single mothers, says Waihong. “Children are born out of wedlock, which in China is still unusual. But this isn’t how the Mosuo see it – to them, marriage is an inconceivable concept, and a child is ‘fatherless’ simply because their society pays no heed to fatherhood. The nuclear family as we understand it exists, just in a different form.” 

It is common for Mosuo women not to know who the father of their children is, and there is no stigma attached to this

Men and women practise what is known as a “walking marriage” – an elegant term for what are essentially furtive, nocturnal hook-ups with lovers known as “axia”. A man’s hat hung on the door handle of a woman’s quarters is a sign to other men not to enter. These range from one-night stands to regular encounters that deepen into exclusive, life-long partnerships – and may or may not end in pregnancy. But couples never live together, and no one says, “I do”.
“For Mosuo women, an axia is often a pleasurable digression from the drudgery of everyday life, as well as a potential sperm donor,” says Waihong.

Women own and inherit property, sow crops in this agrarian society, and run the households – cooking, cleaning and child-rearing. The men provide strength, ploughing, building, repairing homes, slaughtering animals and helping with big familial decisions, although the final say is always with Grandmother. Although men have no paternal responsibilities – it is common for women not to know who the father of their children is, and there is no stigma attached to this – they have considerable responsibility as uncles to their sisters’ children. In fact, along with elderly maternal great-uncles, who are often the households’ second-in-charge, younger uncles are the pivotal male influence on children.
“Mosuo men are feminists by any standards,” says Waihong. “Boys think nothing of looking after their baby sisters, or taking their toddler brothers by the hand everywhere. I was once made to wait before talking business with an elderly Mosuo man until he had bathed his family’s twin baby girls and changed their nappies.”
A few months after her first trip, Waihong returned to Lugu Lake. A teenage girl, Ladzu, had offered to teach her the Mosuo language, which is passed down orally, and introduce her to her family. Her visits grew longer and more frequent. She became godmother to Ladzu and her brother, Nongbu. Ladzu’s uncle, Zhaxi, a local character and successful entrepreneur, offered to build her a house. Thus she began to put down roots.

“I grew accustomed to shuttling between Singapore and Lugu Lake, navigating a hectic city life and a different rural rhythm in the mountains,” she says. Her longer stays – she now lives with the Mosuo for a few months, three or four times a year – gave her the chance to discover more about this private, often misunderstood community.
In the absence of marriage as a goal, the only reason for men and women to have anything resembling a relationship is for love, or enjoyment of each other’s company. If it runs its course, the usual reasons for staying together – for the children, societal or financial reasons – don’t apply. As an unmarried woman in a community where marriage is non-existent, Waihong felt at home.
“All Mosuo women are, essentially, single,” she says. “But I think I’m seen as an oddity because I’m not from here, and I live alone, rather than with a family. I get a lot of dinner invitations, and my friends are always egging me on to find a nice Mosuo lover.” Has she? “That would be telling.”
With life centred on the maternal family, motherhood is, unsurprisingly, revered. For a young Mosuo woman, it is life’s goal. “I’ve had to advise many young women on ovulation, so keen are they to get pregnant,” she says. “You are seen as complete once you become a mother.” In this respect, Waihong, who doesn’t have children, is regarded more keenly. “My sense is that I’m pitied,” she says, “but people are too polite to tell me.”

What happens if a woman doesn’t want children? “That’s simply not one of their choices. To even ask that question is to see the Mosuo through our eyes, our way of doing things. The question is not pertinent,” she says.
And what if they can’t have children, or produce only boys? “They will formally adopt a child, either from an unrelated Mosuo family or, more commonly, from one of their maternal cousins,” she says. “A few generations ago, before China’s one-child policy – which extends to two in rural areas – families were huge. There are a lot of cousins around.”
To western eyes, this is the less progressive side of the Mosuo way of life. Is a society that, in many ways, emancipates women from marriage, and gives them sexual freedom, actually producing glorified 1950s housewives who have no choices other than motherhood? It’s a frustration that Waihong feels with her goddaughter Ladzu, now 22. “She is a mother, and leads a very domestic life,” says Waihong. “For a young Mosuo woman, that’s not unusual. But I wish it were different. For me, it’s a waste.”
But things are changing. Since (mostly) Chinese tourists began arriving in the early 1990s, bringing paved roads, an airport and jobs for Mosuo people, their traditional way of life has started to feel outdated to its young inhabitants. Ladzu and her friends may still be living for motherhood, but she is part of a pioneering generation in transition: she is married, and to a Han Chinese man. She still lives at Lugu Lake, but in her own house, with her husband and son, who was born in February. She is not alone: although her grandmother’s generation, in their 60s and 70s, still practise “walking marriage”, as do many women in their 40s, about half of women in their 30s live with their “partners” – the fathers of their young children. A minority of men and women marry outside the community and move away.
“I know one Mosuo man who is living in [the nearest Chinese city of] Lijiang, married with two children,” says Waihong. “Equally, I know a young Mosuo woman, working as a tour bus driver, who has a child on her own and lives in her mother’s household.”
Education often makes the difference: there is a junior high school at Lugu Lake, but the nearest senior school is 100km away, and few children attend. Even fewer head on to further education. “I know a handful of men and women who have become civil servants or college lecturers,” says Waihong. “But most only have their junior school certificate.”

In many ways, it doesn’t matter to young Mosuo: tourism is providing careers – from waiter to guesthouse owner, tourist guide to taxi driver – until now, a foreign concept. This new rising class has money and the chance to meet people outside the Mosuo community; many families are renting out land for hotels to be built on. Subsistence farming is on the way out, slowly being replaced by the commercial farming of prized local crops. Where land is still farmed for the family, mostly in more rural parts, children head home to help with the harvest. “And they know there will always be food on the table for them, back home with Mum,” says Waihong.
It is a society in transition, in a country that is changing fast. Feminist activism is on the rise in China, battling ongoing discrimination;

China still describes unmarried women over 27 as “leftover”. Can these naturally emancipated Mosuo women – and men – show Chinese society a different approach to family life? “Yes,” says Waihong, “to wear their singlehood with pride.” Young Mosuo are carving out a different path from their parents, embracing “western” marriage and family life with gusto. Zhaxi, who built Waihong’s house, says there will be no Mosuo culture left in 30 years. She is less sure. “I think their traditional family structure may come to be seen as halcyon, once they see what the alternative is,” she says. “They were the original trendsetters, 2,000 years ago; they don’t know how good they have it.

AJAX'S COMMENTARY:

Very true indeed, Rasa and William.. And very good words overall, both of you. Interesting article about the Mosuo people as well. We can certainly learn a lot from them, and they seem very progressive in many ways, particularly in terms of sexual freedom. The absence of marriage as we know it is particularly striking indeed. It certainly answers the question of whether the patriarchal institution of marriage was initially invented by men to control Women, or the other way around--clearly the former, not the latter, is true. Thus, before the advent of patriarchy, things were likely very similar to the Mosuo concept of "walking marriage" or "open marriage" (which is not even really marriage, so much as it is an errant translation of the Han Chinese term for it into English), and seems to be largely more akin to the modern-day Western concept of "friends with benefits". Vive le difference!

As for their less progressive aspects mentioned in the article, such as their rather stifling "everybody must procreate" mentality (i.e. compulsory or quasi-compulsory motherhood), which is anachronistic and outmoded at best in an overpopulated world and likely does more harm than good, I would like to add that we need to avoid the "package-deal fallacy" in that regard when using them as a model for a future Matriarchy. Some purists would of course not want to make any concessions to modern times, while that would be a non-starter for everyone else.

Overall, the Mosuo represent a very important case study of Matriarchy and how it evolved.